Detox Diet
Due to the extra large amounts of alcohol and pizza (not to mention mashed taters, noodles, roasts of various kinds, and tubs of butter) consumed the last couple of weeks I am giving the detox diet a shot. You can read about it here. Apparently this diet will combine some good old fashioned common sense with a dash of alternative/holistic medicine voodoo to get my over sized body humming like a retard at Disney Land.
From what I can tell I will be munching on fresh organic fruits and veggies, brown rice, beans, and the ever popular buckwheat for the next two weeks. Booze, coffee, and soda are not allowed either. It will be nothing but water and herbal tea for this fat body. One thing is certain, there will be a run on the Charmin and books containing short stories at the local mega-mart.
Has anybody tried this cockeyed diet before? And if so, how did it work for you?
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14 Responses to “Detox Diet”
1 The Captain 4 January 2007 @ 12:54 pm
Not I. But I’m not going to do any diets myself. I just changed everything about the way I eat, and I’m going to make it stick. Those catchy diets just make me fail worse (not that they won’t work for you).
2 The Pirate 4 January 2007 @ 1:01 pm
I hear that about fad diets not being sustainable, but this is only a two week deal to kick me off right so hopefully it will work. After that I am moving to more of a lifestyle adjustment to the way I eat.
3 The Monk 4 January 2007 @ 1:19 pm
I’m with Brad on this one. If the diet has a purpose (detox) there is no reason not to do it. The “lose x pounds in 2 weeks” diets are troublesome.
4 mrs. general 4 January 2007 @ 9:47 pm
Good luck with that detox diet! Of course if you had been with the program from the get go, you probably wouldn’t need to resort to such drastic measures now. I bet your fellow beasts would have loved themselves some of that yummy food you talked about.
I know I watched my husband restrain himself and make a huge effort not to eat like a giant fat fatty throughout the holiday season and he still gained a bit of weight.
I hope you all make it, that will be one super vacation if you do.
5 The Pirate 5 January 2007 @ 10:23 am
Thanks for the encouragement. Restraint and will power from food and drink have never been my strengths otherwise I wouldn’t be as fat as I am now!!
Josh has always been a strong dieter eating rice cakes and tuna for lunch while the rest of us chowed on cafeteria pizza and chocolate milk.
The time to pay the bill for my holiday indulgences has come.
6 The General 5 January 2007 @ 10:50 am
I’m weaker than the old days, that’s for damn sure. Although this week has been good. For me, the earlier in the evening I can cut off my food, the better. Everyone knows your metabolism slows way down the later in the day it gets, but I swear, mine just shuts off completely, I think. The last couple nights I haven’t eaten past about 7 p.m. I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed 205.2, which is down four pounds from Monday… if I can keep that going, it’ll be a nice Monday.
How’s that detox thing going?
7 The Pirate 5 January 2007 @ 11:15 pm
So far so good. The most difficult thing is how bland the food is, but I can hang in for a couple of weeks.
8 The General 7 January 2007 @ 10:39 am
Brad’s bringin’ sexyback….YEAH!
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